Sunday Scaries and Homesickness

It's Sunday night. Drifting in the door of the common room, from down the hall, is Hozier's voice. He just released a new song: "Be" (Acoustic version). His voice encapsulates what I can only describe as the following: standing atop an overlook at a National Park, a waterfall coming down slowly in the distance, a full field of wildflowers, a quiet, warm summer morning. My second roommate ever, Sophie, a North Carolina native who I love like a sister to this day, loves him. I associate her with Hozier and with music that curates those images in my mind. 

Happy Sunday to all of the lovelies back home, reading this. I hope today makes to be a relaxing one for you-- take an extra second to appreciate the sunrise or the sunset over Pennsylvania's horizon for me, if you think of it.

It's been almost a month out here now-- Tuesday will solidify the count, a routine I've held onto since the second week in. Since my last blog, the distance from home has materialized as a heavy weight on my mental. I miss home, and it's been hard on me.

Homesickness:

Now that I've managed to get so far away, as teenage me did so often in daydreams, I want so badly to have the confines of my little town within reach again. A recent conversation with my dad leaves one thought in my mind: they need more representation for the adventure characters that begin to miss home and the things familiar to them. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? Adventure novels have a character who runs so far away, to see the world and to conquer new aspects of life they would've never accessed otherwise. Not once do they begin to long for the familiar overlooks, the local diners and their owners, their aunt's backyard, their home friends' laughter in their college dining hall. I've only seen this longing portrayed in moments where the subject is reminiscing on their youth. If I ever wrote a book, I'd love to represent it properly, if only I knew how to resolve it myself without packing up and heading right back to those familiar scenes. It has been hard to long so much for something I just recently had there. Here's the comfort I've been offered:

-You'll be back home before you know it

-Don't spend the time missing home, spend it making the most of where you are, and then (reread above)

-Call your friends if you're thinking of them more than ever in a certain moment

-Find comfort in the little things around you to connect you to where you are

I think all are lovely pieces to hear as reassurance, and honestly, I'm always so grateful for anyone who takes the time out of their busy schedule to even begin to offer me comfort for my struggles being out here. So thank you-- I promise I am trying so, so hard. Writing this blog to recap the events here has been one of my bigger outlets, as I love to look back and pinpoint changes in life and character, and old routines. I think journaling is one of the most reflective and comforting things a person could do. I'm hoping that soon, the weight subsides and I can truly find a new sense of comfort out here and that it's not as much of a fight as time goes on. 

Classes:

I had my full second week of classes this last week. Are things ramping up yet? Not particularly. I survived my second 8-hour class day last Thursday and I met some more girls in my geology lab. That time, we learned about how pinpointed earthquakes / seismic reports can help interpret subduction zones. I never realized New Zealand is an earthquake-prone area, and with that, my old fascination with tsunamis and earthquakes has returned. I am interested in the things that scare me the most. Obviously, neither of those are a threat in Pennsylvania. Geology dump: the tectonic plate on which the Pacific Ocean rests is subducting under the plate that Australia rests on. Earthquakes deepen westward, which further indicates the direction of subduction and positioning of the slab. Beyond that, my comprehension of the specifics ceases a bit. Next Friday, I have an Advanced Spanish oral exam, during which my conversational skills and fluency will be observed. I am truly scared for that one, but I have some faith. I always try to keep a little faith in myself, underneath it all. I'm just a super anxious person, so anxious thoughts are usually the loudest in my mind, above all. 

Recent ventures:

Rob Roy's Dairy in between classes with my flatmate Talia, pretty sunsets on grocery trips, cute presentations of flat whites via the discouragement of single-use cups on campus, sunny days, mid-day lawn meditation, sketching, and retail therapy...

It's been a hot minute since it's been warm enough during the weekend to venture to one of Dunedin's beaches. Dunedin's autumn is Pennsylvania's spring, minus the snow part. I'm seeking a trip to the beach soon. When that time comes, I will bestow the blog with pictures of it. The beach I last went to was St. Clair-- my flatmate who more frequently ventures there to surf with friends often brings back tales of Sea Lion spottings on the beach. With that, she also tells us stories of people getting way too close to them, which is a shame. When I went to St. Clair, it was my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean up close. It's a beautiful, easy-access beach-- it was not too crowded when I went with my friends. The majority of the people there were surfing in the water despite the increasing waves. It was my first time ever watching people actually surf, wetsuits and all. I'm not too good of a swimmer, so I will take my losses and stay out of that scene. Unfortunately, I did not witness the sea lions, but in my next trip, I absolutely intend to (without disturbing them, of course). 

Upcoming: the pictures I want you guys to see this week

I did do some shopping excursions with the girls. In these, I managed to find books I've been in search of for the last two months or so. Also, there was an on-campus live market, during which I thrifted gifts for friends back home, a bejeweled dragonfly pin, and some new closet pieces. Of course, in the journeys to and from some of these places, I spotted lovely JDM cars: 370z, mk5 supra, honda integra type R. I have not yet info-dumped the car culture out here, because I don't quite understand it yet. The most familiar sightings have been JDM cars and Mustangs, plus one lucky c4 corvette sighting. Aside from car talk, I'm noticing a change in my fashion. I mentioned before that I bought pieces to blend in better to the apparent wardrobe standard out here, but being around girls with such light styles, I feel myself drifting from the cold-weather, dark look I've donned for the last couple of months. Of course, this is only a passing thought, because we're going right back into cold weather soon in New Zealand. But for the time being, I've bought some light, cream-colored, flowy pieces to enjoy here and there. Not all black in my closet, anymore, which I am completely okay with. I feel as though grunge is a permanent wardrobe presence for me, though, just as it has been since I was 13. I'm okay with this; you can take the girl out of the thrift, but you can never take the thrift out of the girl. I'll try to get some pictures of myself in my true comfort style soon. I love having an essence like Hope Sandoval from Mazzy Star (who is singing Fade Into You down the hall as I type this) and Dolores O Riordan from The Cranberries. I like to look like the music I listen to, above all else.

I'll conclude my ramblings here. I hope I get to see more of Dunedin before being hunkered down by work, so I look forward to the next post I can offer.

Take care guys, enjoy home for me.

Meg